Weblog

Friday, 18 April 2008

  • I Just Summed Up All of Human History

    Humans are born.

    Humans realize that they need to eat.

    Humans make families.

    Humans realize that their families need to eat.

    Humans make sure that they can feed themselves and their families.

    Some enterprising jerk decides that that's not good enough.

    Enterprising jerk works harder and gets more resources.

    Suddenly all of the other humans have to work harder help the enterprising jerk to get more resources so he'll share.

    Nothing seems as simple as it was last week.

    Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Tuesday, 01 April 2008

  • Wildlife Shows

    I'd like to hop into my magical car right now and drive around the country, polling Rachael Ray viewers.  The question: do you really give a crap about snakes, or any animals that aren't cute?

    Why do talk shows insist on having wildlife shows?  Maybe it was fun when the novelty hadn't worn off; whenever I catch a clip of some chimpanzee jumping all over Johnny Carson, I laugh.  But, seriously, do I really need to see Rachael Ray standing on the edge of her set with her teeth bared and her hands nervously held up by her chin, while some blandly handsome zoo-man pokes a snake with a stick? 

    I'm telling you, with all of that primal fear leaking out of Rachael Ray, she looked more like an animal than the snake.

    Why do I have such a problem with Rachael Ray?  I mean, she's an indie rock chick, and that's cool, but there's something about her that I just don't dig.

    She reminds me of some annoying girls from my high school class.

    *sigh*

    I'm putting off cleaning my apartment.  Lauren's coming over soon to practice.  Sorry I haven't been blogging as much here or on my other blog, ifyougoogleyourself.  Again, I feel like I'm just going to rant about work or something stupid like that.


Thursday, 13 March 2008

  • American Fascination

    America just loves a pretty young white girl in trouble. 

    There are two categories for this phenomenon:

    The Pretty Young White Girl Who Brought It Upon Herself

    When you're young, you do stupid things.  That's life.  In the Age of the Internet, every stupid thing you post there is saved for posterity.  If you happen to have some compromising information floating out there somewhere, you will get caught and your downfall will be public and spectacular.  America loves a downfall.  America loves pretty young white girls.  America goes crazy when a pretty young white girl has a spectacular downfall.  If sexy pictures accompany the downfall, we produce enough drool to flood Liechtenstein and cover all of its mountains.

    Witness poor Antonella Barba, who was primarily known for being a bit of a jerk on American Idol.  When she made it pretty far, somebody put up some naughty pictures.  People went nuts.  I guess someone tried to bring her down a few pegs.  I don't think Antonella deserved that.  I still get a little bit sad when I hear Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On." 

    How about Miss USA 2006, Tara Conner?  She got caught doing the party thing in NYC, kissing Miss Teen USA and drinking underage.  Some dumb blog catches her and suddenly she's the scandal du jour.  Good ol' Donald Trump gets to hop up behind the podium, pretend he's the Moral Voice of America, and grant Tara a second chance.  Awww.  See?  America gets all loopy when a pretty young white girl gets into trouble.

    How about Miss New Jersey 2007, Amy Polumbo, who had those utterly tame pictures surface on the internet?  They weren't bad at all.  Somebody was reaching when they tried to make a scandal out of that.  Still, what is the general public going to remember this girl for?  They're going to remember a stupid little scandal, and that sucks.

    Now that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's "Kristen" has had her true identity and Myspace page revealed, what's going to happen to her?  America is going to lavish attention on her and try to paint her in a corner.  "Kristen," normally known as Ashley, is an aspiring singer.  A bunch of opportunistic morons are going to descend upon her with album deals and movie offers so they can make a quick buck off of her and capitalize on her current image and scandal.  The downside of this for Ashley is that it's just going to cement the image and scandal into the public consciousness.  Yuk.  That's not fair for someone so young.

    These pretty young white girls are going to have to deal with labels for a long time--labels that a scandal-loving public was all too ready to paste onto them--just for doing dumb things in their youth. 

    The Pretty Young White Girl Cut Down In Her Prime

    Auburn and Chapel Hill: we're going to be hearing about those two college towns for months.  In a way, all the publicity is good for the case.  I wonder if it's a double edged sword for the families; the publicity will surely help catch the killers, but it must be so hard to see a picture of your slain loved one every time you turn on the television. 

    I can't help but feel terrible for all of the murder victims in this country that are not pretty young white girls.  When you think about it, pretty young white girls are a small portion of the population.  It's like the country doesn't even care when someone else is killed.  I think about all of the people murdered in Philadelphia--many of whom are not white--and it hurts me that their families do not benefit from the same kind of media exposure and analysis.  Nobody in Dubuque is seeing fuzzy security camera images of prime murder suspects in these cases.  So many people are cut down in their prime and America seems to care only about two successful and attractive young college girls.  It's a real shame.

    America loves pretty young white girls.

    America loves pretty young white girls almost to the exclusion of all else.

    Weird country.



Wednesday, 05 March 2008

  • I was really hoping that Huckabee would make it to Pennsylvania.  Even if he made it to my state, I know that my vote for him wouldn't have mattered much.  Still, he's a guy who's run a persistent and honorable campaign; he took pains not to run any negative ads against McCain and, in the past couple of weeks with that lobbyist scandal, negative ads would have written themselves.  He's extremely strong on life issues.  He appears to have a heart and a sense of charity when it comes to immigration.  Yeah, I didn't like that he was so tight with the America's scary evangelical right.  I'm a little weaker on the Second Amendment than he is.  The Fair Tax totally gave me the creeps. 

    All in all, he's an honorable man with a deep respect for God and for human life.  I'm sad to see him go.

Tuesday, 04 March 2008

  • One of my close friends had surgery last week and I was supposed to help her around the house today.  Thanks to my lingering cold and bout with pink eye, I can't! 

    Grrr.


PianoAsWeaponOfChange

  • Visit PianoAsWeaponOfChange's Xanga Site
    • Name: Bill
    • Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 9/22/2002

Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

About Me

  • Yeah, I traded laughs in for chartsengrafs.

Pulse

PianoAsWeaponOfChange has no pulse!...

Photostrip

[no photos]

Chatboard (1)

  • ChristianHilton
    In Western popular culture (especially during American Idol season), why is earnestness such a valued trait? I do not watch A.Idol - is this earnestness the valued human characteristic, or endearing earnestness the applied science of being earnest? ps, I saw something like the piano statement once -